48/365 in 2017 | Cincinnati Wedding Photographer

Day 48

Because not a week goes by when one of these doesn’t sit in front of my home.  I’m sure I will have a truth day where I lay it all out for y’all, but for now know that if your streets aren’t safe, it is because the deputies are banging on my windows….all the while I am doing nothing illegal.

I grew up with a healthy fear/respect for authority…police in general.  I didn’t always understand why people would say that the police were corrupt or that they couldn’t be trusted.  I can say now, though, that I fully understand.

Now I’m not saying all officers of the law are bad.  But there are some that are.  And the fact that each can interpret the law in the way they want makes it all more dangerous.

I have been threatened.  In front of my kids.  I was told that I would be arrested.  I was told to be thankful that I hadn’t been up to that point because the deputy liked me and my family.  I was told that he could no longer not arrest me if I didn’t do what he told me to.  I was questioned about the support of therapists I said I have.  I was questioned about why my attorney was handling my case a certain way.  I was told he could interpret the law to be different than what the lawyers or other deputies said.  I was told that he would force my kids away from me.

My kids now are afraid of deputies driving cars like the one below because of how I’ve been treated.

Again, I know there are good ones.  I have friends that are deputies.  I go to the gym with deputies and we chat.  They are the reason I know that it is a select few that ruin it for all.  And I am thankful for these good deputies that I remind my kids about.

On this day, I was called petty.  The deputy has only seen bits and pieces and doesn’t know the full scale of things.  To be called petty is insulting.  It is judgemental.  It is not petty for me to not want my ex to kidnap one of our children.

These deputies that have threatened and judged are the reasons that women who are battered and abused are afraid to leave their abuser.  We are afraid that the abuser will manipulate the authorities and lie and that we won’t be believed.  We will be held to a different standard.  We will be told that we are petty for having the fears and feelings we have.  We will be told we are wrong to feel the way we feel and that we are just wrong in general.  We will be told that we have no right to with hold our children to keep them safe from an abuser.  We will be told that we are interfering with custody even though we are the custodial parent.  We will be fed lies by not only our abuser, but the authorities that believe his stories.

I strongly recommend to the new Sheriff of Clark County that she look into sensitivity training for deputies with a large emphasis on battered women and how the men are often narcissistic and will manipulate the situations.  Teach them that these women often have PTSD and pounding or banging on their doors and windows is panic inducing to not only the women, but the children who are still healing from the trauma.  Teach the deputies to be respectful and realize that what they see is only the tip of what the full situation consists of.  These women need support.  They need to know that they are respected and will be kept safe.  It is time to stop blaming the victim and investigating her because an abusive ex makes up stories.  Speaking to her neighbors about whether she seems like a good mom and such when you know there is a history and that there are on-going court cases is unnecessary.  Quit making the woman feel like a criminal that has to hide in her home.

I bet if you were to look at the deputies’ cameras from when I first started interacting with them in 2014 or so over custody disputes to where we are now that it would show the gradual disintegration of trust and loss of respect.

And there you go.  Day 48.  Way more than I intended to say and yet not even the surface of the situation.

48/365 in 2017 deputy

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